Economic Models explained with cows - 2007 update???

SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows. You give one to your

neighbour.

COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and

gives you some milk.

FASCISM: You have 2 cows.The State takes both and

sells you some milk.

NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and

shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both,

shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk

away...

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one

and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy

grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government

requires you to take harmonica lessons

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell

one, and force the other to produce the milk of four

cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the

cow has dropped dead.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell

three of them to your publicly listed company, using

letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the

bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an

associated general offer so that you get all four

cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The

milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an

intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned

by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to

all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual

report says the company owns eight cows, with an

option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new

President of the United States, leaving you with nine

cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The

public then buys your bull.

THE ARTHUR ANDERSEN MODEL: You have two cows. You shred

them.

A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on

strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because

you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign

them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow

and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a

clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and

market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You

re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once

a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you

don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows.You count

them and learn you have five cows. You count them

again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again

and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and

open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows. None of them

belong to you. You charge the owners for storing

them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300

people milking them. You claim that you have full

employment, and high bovine productivity. You arrest

the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship

them

AN IRAQI CORPORATION: Everyone thinks you have lots of

cows. You tell them that you have none. No-one

believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and

invade your country. You still have no cows, but at

least now you are part of a?Democracy....

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION: You have two cows. The one

on the left looks very attractive.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. Business

seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a

few beers to celebrate.