Last words

The last words of the famous...... collated by Christopher Orlet, in the Vocabula Review http://www.vocabula.com/

“They couldn’t hit an elephant at this dist....”

General John Sedgewick, union commander in the American Civil War, shot in battle.

“I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis.”

Humphrey Bogart

“I’ve had 18 straight whiskeys. I think that’s the record.”

Dylan Thomas

“Hold me up; I want to shit.”

Walt Whitman“

Take a step forward, lads, It will be easier that way.”

Erskine Childers Irish Patriot facing the firing squad in 1922

“Why yes. A bullet-proof vest”

Notorious criminal James Roges asked by the firing squad commander if he had a last request.

“How about this for a headline in tomorrow’s paper - French Fries”

Wisecracking American murderer James French as he sat in the electric chair.

“Capital punishment: them without the capital get the punishment.”

John Spenkelink in the electric chair 1979

“There are six guineas for you, and do not hack me as you did my Lord Russell.”

Duke of Monmouth being firm but generous with his 16th century executioner.

“This is no time to make new enemies.”

Voltaire when asked to renounce the works of Satan as he passed away.

“Yes, it’s tough, but not as tough as doing comedy.”

Actor Edmund Gwenn asked if dying was tough.

“Die, my dear doctor? That’s the last thing I shall do.”

An optimistic Lord Palmerston,British Prime Minister.

“I am about to - or I am going to - die; either expression can be used.”

French grammarian, Dominique Bouhours remains dedicated to his profession to the end.

“Leave the shower curtain on the inside of the tub.”

Dying hotelier Conrad Hilton

Oscar Wilde, in typical fashion left at least three lines of last words:

1. 1. •“Either that wallpaper goes or I do.”
      

   2. •“Ah well, then, I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.”
      

   3. •The truth however, is probably more mundane....commenting on a book he had recently read. “This is a fine study of the American politician and possesses the quality of truth in characterisation. What else has the lady written?”
      

2. 
   

“Damn it. Don’t you dare ask God to help me.”

Joan Crawford as her housekeeper prayed aloud.

“Go on, get out! Last words are for fools who haven’t said enough.”

Karl Marx, champion of the workers chases his housekeeper when she asked for any last words.

Allen, Ethan (1738-1789)

"Waiting are they?  Waiting are they?  Well--let 'em wait." 

Ethan Allen was a U.S. patriot and leader of the Green Mountain Boys during the American Revolution.  Allen's last words were a deathbed response to an attending doctor who attempted to comfort him by saying, "General, I fear the angels are waiting for you."

Antoinette, Marie, Queen of France (1755-1793)

"Pardonnez-moi, monsieur."

Marie Antoinette was the wife of King Louis XVI.  She was convicted of treason following the Revolution and sentenced to death by beheading.  As she approached the guillotine, she accidentally stepped on the foot of her executioner.

Aretino, Pietro (1492-1556)

"Now I'm oiled.  Keep me from the rats."

Pietro Aretino was an Italian satirist who was known as the "Scourge of Princes" for his bitingly witty attacks on the aristocracy.  When his good friend, the painter Titian, came to him with a problem, Aretino was quick to offer assistance.  The Duke of Urbino had commissioned Titian to paint a nude portrait of his old and ugly wife.  As Titian feared the consequences, Aretino hired a beautifully proportioned prostitute to pose for the body and urged Titian to paint a flattering portrait of the duchess for the head.  The duchess was extremely pleased with the result, which Titain had named The Venus of Urbino . When the pair of friends presented the painting to the duke, he turned to Aretino and sighed, "If I could have had that girl's body, even with my wife's head, I would have been a happier man."  Aretino found the remark so exceedingly funny that he collapsed in a fit of laughter that provoked a stroke.  Aretino was unconscious by the time a priest was brought to administer the last rites.  No sooner had the priest finished, when Aretino opened his eyes, spoke his final two sentences, and expired. 

Astor, John Jacob, IV (1864-1912)

"The ladies have to go first. . . .  Get in the lifeboat, to please me. . . .  Good-bye, dearie.  I'll see you later."

At the turn of the century, John Jacob Astor was the richest man in the world, owning over 700 prime Manhattan properties and serving as chairman for more than 20 different companies.  After divorcing his wife of many years, Astor married an 18 year old acquaintance, Madeline.  To escape the resulting scandal, the Astors took a two year holiday in Egypt and Europe.  When Madeline became pregnant while in England, the couple booked return passage to New York on the gigantic, ill-fated, new luxury liner, Titanic. After the ship struck its famous iceberg, the Astors were ushered to one of the last lifeboats.  As Astor started to enter, he noticed an approaching female passenger.  Turning to Madeline, he explained that he must give up his seat, and bid her farewell.  John Jacob Astor did not rejoin Madeline in New York for the birth of their son; he died, along with 1500 other passengers, when the ship sank.

Astor, Lady Nancy Witcher Langhorne (1879-1964)

"Am I dying or is is this my birthday?"

Lady Astor was the first woman member of Parliament.  Noted for her biting wit, she occasionally got into verbal spats with Winston Churchill.  She spoke her last words when, on her deathbed, she momentarily awoke to find herself surrounded by her entire family.

Bailly, Jean Sylvain (1736-1793)

"Only from the cold, my friend."

Jean Bailly, a member of the French Academy of Sciences, became the first revolutionary mayor of Paris in 1789.  Eventually, however, the reign of terror ensnared him and he was sentenced to death.  On the scaffold, awaiting the guillotine, he was heckled by a spectator who noticed that he was trembling.

Behan, Brendan (1923-1964)

"Bless you, Sister.  May all your sons be bishops."

Brendan Behan was an Irish playwright and member of the Irish Republican Army.  Known for his especially sardonic humor, he based many of his works on his experience in the IRA and the years he spent in spent reform school and prison.  He uttered his last words to a nursing nun who was taking his pulse.